Honoring the Pause

I have had many projects and self-improvement goals where I put a stake in the ground about my intention and then perhaps somewhere during the process, I rationalize that I have done a good job, so I can end it early. Rationalizing that I got close enough. Perhaps you have experienced the same thing? With this intentional pause, I am trying to stay committed to not diving deep into my mindfulness business and taking the time to unwind my last 20 years and to know what it feels like to be at my baseline.

Learning what is at the core of who I am when I am not producing.

This is so much harder than I thought. This week alone, I cancelled a meeting with a colleague who is also starting her own business and we are working and supporting each other through the process. I cancelled because I did not want to be drawn back into thinking about what to do next. I also declined a meeting with a yoga teacher who’s looking at adding meditation to her studio. I am not used to saying no, so this has been a real struggle. Doubts arising about whether I have missed out on something and also realizing that honoring the pause is more important than a potential opportunity.

I am trusting that if one opportunity arises, there will be more. With an abundance mindset, I know that there is plenty to go around, and I am willing to wait until the timing is right for me.

My mindfulness practice has been key for me in seeing how deeply my ingrained reactions are. Feeling anxiousness when I said no and how that played out in my body, pacing around looking for something to do. Moments of insecurity and wanting to complete something so that I had a reason to say no. “Sorry, but I am too busy.” What I have come to learn is, if you allow the emotion to be there and bring a sense of curiosity to it, it eventually goes. It is not permanent!

So, as I honor the pause, I am stopping and appreciating all the amazing joys that each day has to bring. Ellie my dog and I hare having a great time exploring and even taking a few moments to stop and smell the flowers 😊