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Sunday Morning

Writer's picture: Karen HaydenKaren Hayden

It is Sunday morning, and it is dark and foggy, and my body says just a few more minutes.


On most Sunday’s, I host a drop-in meditation at my studio, so I need to be somewhere.


It feels good to need to be somewhere, like I have a purpose, but I also feel the desire to not want it.


Realizing that I can have both feelings, yes that is good, but the kicker is, which one do I follow.


It depends on what I decide I need for myself in that moment, not what I do out of habit.



When I stop and ask myself what I really need, the answer is usually rather clear. It is executing that can be a challenge.


Why is it so hard to know what we need and not do it?


I ask myself this question all the time.


Take meditation for example.


The practice - 20 minutes a day to see the benefits - reduce stress, improve health, and overall increase well-being.


20 minutes a day – sounds simple enough, I don’t need to exert myself physically, I don’t need to buy any new equipment or clothing, just find a place to sit.


I have been meditating for over ten years and I can honestly say that my practice has been on and off again throughout the ten years. At times I have sat every day for even longer periods of time and at other times, I have missed weeks.


Why did I give up something I knew benefited me?


Sometimes it just feels good not to have to do anything.


At times I feel inundated with so much information on what “I should and shouldn’t do” that sometimes I just want to say F…k it. Like when I was young and adults were always telling me what to do, so I did the opposite.


So, what does this all have to do with mindfulness? Well for me, mindfulness helps me to witness all of this and to give myself grace regardless of what path I choose. It allows me to be aware of the outcomes from my choices and to adjust if necessary.


I realize that life isn’t meant to be perfect or even easy and all I ask of myself is to do the best I can. I also know that through it all, I want to be awake, to feel the outcomes of the decisions I make. I want to be in the driver’s seat, course correcting when needed and enjoying the ride along the way.

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